How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dear god my vagina.
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