Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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