Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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