Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
