So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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