I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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