the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
