I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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