It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize