Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you will always have a special place in my vag
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
