And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
