Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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