Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
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He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
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We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize