I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
