all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
