Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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