It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
