Pappa wants mamma naked
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
