like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
