so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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