Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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