the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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