the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
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this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
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Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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