K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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