South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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