She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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