My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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