What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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