Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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