? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
