Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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