i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
