I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
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So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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