I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
