girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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