C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
