He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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