Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
