I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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