That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
be right there i have to get my cape
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
