I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
then he tried to convert me to islam
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
