Swine flu is the new snow day.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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