I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
