turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
