you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
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It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
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what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
soo... how was my night?
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