so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
