So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
