I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Randomize
