i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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