part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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