I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
