You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
