OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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