uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
