i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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