Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
