So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
