Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
