I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize