The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
