I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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