When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize