then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
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Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
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I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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